Over the last couple of years, I have had the opportunity to work with couples. I have always been interested in relationships, and I finally found my perfect job. Instead of meddling or playing matchmaker with friends and family, I get to dig in and try to support couples who opt to work with me. I have been so excited about the skills I have learned, that I have tried to share them with a broader audience through workshops, retreats and social media. However, I seem to hit an invisible wall. Obviously, I thrive on the mechanics of relationships, so I continue to be amazed by the stigma regarding couples work. If a couple starts therapy or attends a workshop, the assumption is "they must be broken".
I don't know about you, but I have found that relationships are not easy. Two individuals from different backgrounds, with unique triggers, unique dreams, unique families, who try to spend a lifetime together tend to hit some rocky patches. My husband and I still cuss about 2012 - 2013 which was filled with parent stressors, job loss, financial stressors, and a move. We were able to hang on without seeking outside help, but I am pretty sure we could have saved some heartache if we had talked to someone, or at least read a book.
The thing is, we are all sitting in our homes with our own bag of struggles. Where it gets messy is when we assume that everyone else is doing it better. We tend to go home at night, shut our garage door, and deal with our struggles in isolation. I just went to training a few weeks ago that highlighted the current loneliness factor in our country. We use to depend on our tribe for survival, now we have all the independence in the world. However, the side effects of independence can be loneliness and isolation. So where am I going with this? I tend to type like I talk.....
I want couples to realize that putting a life together is not easy. If we are honest, we all experience highs and lows as we journey together. My mom told me her marriage advice from her grandmother was, "there will be days when you just hate your husband". Not exactly a cheerful sentiment, but a real one. There are days when I am pretty sure the way Brad eats ice cream produces the most annoying sound on earth. Then there are other days when I look across the room and feel so blessed to have my partner in crime.
We spend time and money practicing hobbies, self-care, and focusing on job development. Why don't we spend time really focusing on our relationship? Carving out time to gain insight into ourselves and each other increases overall happiness. Actually working on our relationship does not insinuate we are "broken". Instead, it shows we are committed to developing and maintaining relationships that thrive.
If you are interested in actively working on your relationship, please join us for our first The Thriving Relationship Online Workshop. A framework for couples to strengthen their relationship from the comfort of their own home. Find out more at: http://www.shannonkayjohnson.com/thethrivingrelationship
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